The Poetic Ponderings of Prince: A Tribute

Written by on April 21, 2016


When I reflect on my earliest memories of enjoying music there are a few fuzzy instances that come to mind. Cruising around in my dad’s ’67 Corvair listening to Beach Boys’ “Little Old Lady From Pasadena”; Recording Ace Of Base/Savage Garden ‘radio shows’ with my childhood friend Cassie (which were basically 10 year old us recording voice overs on a cassette and playing our favorite pop singles); and the funky, flirty and bizarre anthems of Prince. These early memories are vague, but it felt like when my mom and her friends got together there would always be at least one Prince tune in the mix.

In recent years I’ve branched outside his hits, which although incredible, often overshadow some of his more reflective and often downright weird jams. Stumbling across 94 East (via the Purple Snow compilation) has given me yet another window into the artist’s musical soul. Joshua James Amberson (of The Prince Zine) compiled an excellent series of mixes showcasing the best from the artist’s lengthy, varied career. I’ll be sharing the first one HERE until Thursday (you know, on account of Prince’s lawyers).

I could give you a long, rambling idea of what Prince meant to me and to the world, but I imagine there are writer’s out there already doing a far better job of it. What I’d really like to do to remember Prince is to share some of the most clever, poignant, over-the-top and absurd words ever sung. Credit goes to Amberson for turning me on to a few of these lesser known jams and the writer’s own compilation of Prince lyrics (found in that aforementionedPrince Zine) is a hilarious read. Without further lamentation, here’s the transcendental poetry of Prince:

“I took another bubble bath with my pants on”
-The Ballad of Dorothy Parker

“People call me rude / I wish we all were nude”

“Oh great! / Now you think you’re my soul mate / you don’t even know what my favorite cereal is / Wrong! Cap’n Crunch. Soy Milk.”
-Joint 2 Joint

“Because of their half-baked mistakes / we get ice cream, no cake”

“If I was a gigolo all my life / she’d still be there / tellin’ me just how much she really cares”
-She’s Always In My Hair

“Hey, lover, I got a sugarcane / that I wanna lose in you”
-Soft and Wet

“My bed’s a coffin / Dracula ain’t got shit on me”
-Dead On It

“I guess you know me well, I don’t like winter / but I seem to get a kick out of doing you cold”
-Strange Relationship

“I’m about to wet your pants”
-Sex Me Sex Me Not

“If you’re the one who’s always lonely / then I’m the one who’s always alone”
-17 Days

“Did you get the tape I sent you? / I thought it’d be better in song / better than the used condoms you sent me / baby, that was wrong”
-One Of Your Tears”

“In a word, you were sex / all of my cool attitude you took / my body was next”

“He caressed her eyes and licked her abdomen”
-All My Dreams

“Whoever said that elephants were stronger than mules?”
-Paisley Park

“We don’t have to make children to make love / and then we don’t have to make love to have an orgasm”
-If I Was Your Girlfriend

“I got a mind full of good intentions / and a mouthful of Raisinets / better not tell you”
-Mr. Goodnight

“Act your age, not your shoe size”

“I got to have your face / all up in the place / I’d like to think that I’m a man of exquisite taste / a hundred percent Italian silk imported Egyptian lace / but nothing baby, I said nothing baby could compare / to your lovely face”
-Adore (I had to throw in another)

“I’ve gotta broken heart again / cuz I ain’t got no money to spend / you see I spend it all on long distance phone calls / beggin’ her to please come home”
-Gotta Broken Heart Again

“If we cannot make babies / maybe we can make some time”
-Erotic City

“I’ll make your love come down / like a freakin’ elevator in the middle of the night / body vibratin’ like a pager / you play the drink / baby, i’ll play the chaser, do I love you?”
-Mr. Happy

“Would you let me dress you? / I mean, help you pick out your clothes before we go out / Not that you’re helpless”
-If I Was Your Girlfriend (Again)

“Just one lousy dime, baby / why can’t you call me sometime?”
-How Come U Don’t Call Me Anymore

“And if de-elevator tries to bring you down / go crazy, punch a higher floor”
-Let’s Go Crazy

Goodbye you beautiful weirdo.





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